Robert J. Wheeler, Playwright

Harold and Maude and The Joy Of Missing Out -- A Comedy in Two Acts

Harold, a senior citizen and hypochondriac, discovers J.O.M.O., (The Joy Of Missing Out) which energizes him and wife Maude to dispose of the body of a local crime boss that lies in his basement. Harold becomes full energy and optimism, the opposite of his old self when he discovers J.O.M.O. Through a weird turn of events, Harold needs to dispose of the body of a local crime boss that lies in his basement. Dodging both police and criminals sends Harold and wife Maude on a thrilling adventure, resulting in some hilarious challenges.

The Two Timers -- A Comedy in Two Acts

Two wives learn their husbands have been seen cavorting with hot, younger women in the basement of the library and assume their men have taken concubines. The husbands are secretly taking dancing lessons so they can show off to their wives at an upcoming event. After some soul searching, they blame themselves because they haven’t paid enough attention to their husbands’ needs. Not wanting to confront their husbands, which would lead to divorce, as their friends have done, the wives decide on a different strategy – increase bedtime lovemaking -- freeze the concus out – which has hilarious results.

Pippa's Pie Place -- A Comedy in Two Acts

PIPPA, a restaurant proprietor, is excited to know “You’ll Want To Dine Here” will be filming in her restaurant, then finds she is unable to persuade four difficult customers to leave. Can Pippa rid herself of these troublesome people and enjoy customers who love her pies before the film crew arrives? Her effort in accomplishing this goal sends the audience on a compelling, hilarious journey with her.

The Treasure Seekers -- A Comedy in Two Acts

An expert bank robber encounters a timid bank teller who refuses to open the bank safe. WILLIAM, a young, wimpy bank teller tries to match wits with TED, a surly, philosophical thief on a Friday night before a long weekend in William’s bank. There are some tense and humorous moments when MS. SAMUELS, William’s witchy bank manager returns. JENNIFER, William’s secret office love arrives, confesses to all sorts of misdeeds before she is humanely silenced. MARYLYN, William’s fiancé shows up toting a six-shooter looking for Jennifer, her rival for William’s affection. Ted’s biker ex-girlfriend TERESA, who is desperate to renew their relationship at any cost, drops by thanks to GPS tracking. A twist finds the guys with the money and two women on a beach in Belize where all is resolved.

The Babe -- A Comedy in Two Acts

TAYLOR, a bank’s loans officer, “borrows” a million dollars from his bank over a long weekend to maximize his and his wife’s sex life. When they find out thieves have stolen all the money in the bank including the IOU for the million dollars left by the loans officer, they are desperate to stay out of jail and away from thieves. JENNA, Taylor’s wife, fills a child’s sleeper with the million, having a doll’s head peek through the top, hence THE BABE. When Taylor’s mother unexpectedly drops by for a stay, the couple have difficult time explaining about their babe -- sex, age and name. They settle for calling it The Babe. There’s pressure from the thieves and the police, both after the Babe. When Jenna’s maternal instincts kick in the fun intensifies.

Oh, Brother!!! -- A Comedy in Two Acts

An inebriated, introvert, at his 40th birthday party, believes God has created a miracle and changed a fully blown-up and dressed sex doll into the woman of his dreams. Two grown brothers, CHARLIE and MARK, have polarized attitudes regarding relationships, causing comedic disruption for all. Charlie is a socially awkward accountant and Mark is an extroverted car salesman with a big car, house, trophy wife, kids, and his Honeys (girlfriends). It’s a hilarious romp, comparing family values and what it takes to make relationships work or not.

I'll Miss Me When I'm Gone -- A Comedy in Two Acts

A tightwad, a man who wouldn’t give a beggar a dime, signs up to donate his organs after he dies. Martin tells wife Cheryl he will donate his organs after his death as he wants to avoid death by cremation. Norm, Martin's business partner dies, then, through a misunderstanding, Norm's ashes are interred into a cement urn instead of being spread at Peggy's Cove. Martin and Cheryl encounter Donna, Norm's clueless widow, at Norm’s funeral where Donna picks up Sammy, her sleazy boyfriend. Martin and Cheryl enjoy belittling Donna and the stupid people they encounter. However, after Donna’s dies due to an accident at the spreading, the couple reassess their judgmental perceptions of her and decide to make amends by fabricating a different past for Donna’s twin sister, Debra, who has recently arrived.

Misadventures In Marriage -- A Comedy in Two Acts

A first-year medical student tries to end his relationship with the attractive older woman he loves because he has discovered she has had five marriages and divorces over the last ten years. Billy, the naïve medical student, shares his apartment with Jeremy, a soon to graduate medical student. Jeremy is a street-gambling-sin-savvy older roommate. Billy has fallen hard for Suzanne, a 28-year-old hot cougar and a TV sports commentator who has a knack for picking winning NFL teams. Billy confides in Jeremy he wants to terminate his relationship with Suzanne because he’s found out she’s been married five times in the last ten years. Jeremy, realizing Suzanne’s NFL tips are important to his financial future, begs Billy to maintain his relationship with Suzanne. Jeremy convinces Billy he can cure Suzanne of her obsessive-compulsive serial marrying disorder. Yeah, right!

Let There Be Angels -- A Dramedy in Two Acts

A career-oriented couple with personal issues, fall into a sinkhole? Marvin and Wendy have accidentally stumbled into an impossible to climb out of sinkhole in a remote corner of a city park at night. On the surface, physically and metaphorically, they live ideal lives. Their hostility toward each other manifests when confronted with the biggest challenge of their lives. Rafe, a troubled homeless man, happens upon the couple. Can Rafe be the catalyst needed to rescue the couple from the holes they have fallen into?

Sinners and Saints -- A Comedy in Two Acts

A sailor returns to the family home, on leave from the Navy, only to discover his young brother has become a priest, leaving the sailor Mom’s last hope for grandchildren. NICK, the sailor, plots with girlfriend DARLENE to have Darlene’s friend, CAROLINE, a woman dedicated to seducing married men, seduce priest ANDREW, thinking it will seduce Andrew from the priesthood. Caroline enters as an immature, rude, moral-less but physically attractive young woman, then, during numerous interactions, is transformed into a mature, caring, sensitive woman. The audience is treated to a surprising twist and a joyful ending.

Having Harry -- A Ghost Story -- A Comedy in Two Acts

A young, newly married couple, rent their first apartment to find the ghost of the previous tenant, who was murdered there, still haunts the apartment. MILDRED, their neighbor in the 8-plex, tells LUKE and SARAH no matter what they do, Harry won’t leave. Luke brings out his copy of “Exorcism for Complete Idiots,” which adds a ton of humour, but fails to budge Harry. Harry makes it known, it is he who is responsible for groaning pipes, kitchen cupboards doors opening and closing and a radio that turns on and off, and will not leave until he, Sarah, Luke and Mildred detect who murdered him. Fear of ghosts takes a back seat to humour when the three embark on their quest.

The Last Stop -- A Comedy in Two Acts

Rob The Playwright dies and finds himself in Playwrights’ Heaven, but whines constantly about his need to finish the play he was writing, turning Playwrights’ Heaven into Playwrights’ Hell. Stella, God’s special angel, is dispatched to find him a body so he can finish his play. Stella finds Rob to be a difficult subject as he won’t accept bodies she has presented to him. They have a difficult time fitting Rob into a female body. At first Rob is delirious about having breasts but has second thoughts as he moans “nothing’s swinging below deck”. Little does Rob know Stella is one mistake away from playing for the Other team. The voice of God from on high, conducts Stella’s millennium review and the words “what have you done for me lately” are heard. It’s a fun-filled adventure into soul-angel-God land that everyone will enjoy.?

Life Matters -- Almost Heaven, Nearly Hell -- A Fantasy in Two Acts

Four strangers die simultaneously in different cities. Oscar, Hell’s agent, needs to process them together. Each have had sinful lives and scored abundant Club Hell points, so processing should be routine, although . . . maybe not. Who will earn the hot seat for eternity or be saved from it – the sometimes funny but always soused comedian; the lurid, mouthy hooker; the full-of-herself CEO of Everything Inc.; the money-driven publisher of Dirty Secrets, a trash tabloid; or possibly . . . an audience member? A Greek Chorus provides insights and keeps mirth moving.

Oh, Canada -- Fast Forward -- A Comedy in Two Acts

In the future, after all countries have pumped their oil wells dry, Canada has the last of the world’s oil in its sand. It’s a hundred years into the future, when Alberta’s oil sand reserve has become an overwhelming financial boon to Canadians. Add an older, red-neck Newfoundlander prime minister, Sylvia, and her young male sub prime minister, Alfred, and laughter flows faster than oil. However, it isn’t a colossal benefit to the Country due one significant challenge -- The International Democratic Imperative Oil Treaty also known as IDIOT. IDIOT limits Canada’s oil distribution to every nation. Can Sylvia and Alfred stand up to more powerful nations who are desperate for more than their fare share of oil? Can Canada resist foreign pressure and uphold the treaty?

The Do-Over -- A Comedy in One Act

Rob The Playwright dies and finds himself in Playwrights’ Heaven, but whines constantly about his need to finish the play he was writing, turning Playwrights’ Heaven into Playwrights’ Hell. Stella, God's Special Angel, is dispatched to find Rob The Playwright a temporary body so he can finish writing "I'll Miss Me When I'm Gone". Rob's hilarious journey is accelerated when he finds out Stella's on her last strike with God.